In The Garden, Eating Worms

Because it's clear that nobody likes me.  Or at the very least, nobody wants to really be my friend.  And I have TWO examples that prove said claim:

Oh facebook, how I loathe thee.  You're like a bad lover that I just can't shake.  You bring me so much joy and so much pain.  I know that you're no good, but I keep coming back. Case-in-point: I discover things about people that make me angry.  Even though I kinda already knew they weren't so great.  Or a sneaky, gossipy snake...  I had a very messy falling out with a friend just about a year ago. (Oh surprise! Yup, another one.) And I kindly asked all of my friends and family to remove her from facebook since she was nothing but a drama queen.  I blocked her.  So when I recently reset my facebook settings and decided not to worry about blocking the people who were blocked, I was surprised to see that a member of my family hadn't removed this person and in fact, communicates with her.  However, I'm not surprised.

Example number two:  A friend from high school passed away on Sunday morning.  I found out via face book yesterday.  Not the best way to find out but no big deal as I haven't seen or spoken to most of that crew in over 4 years.  What did and does bother me is that when scanning the recent photos that friends had posted, I came across a photo posted on a "Life Celebration of Danny Schmaltz" page.  I thought to myself, "Excellent!  I have a funny picture that I found of Danny, Brad and myself that I will post on the page."  You can imagine my surprise when I discovered that it wasn't a page but and EVENT; taking place this Saturday in honour of Danny.  The picture for the event was familiar as it is from my Super Sweet 26th Birthday album, but I was not invited to this event.  Every single other fucking person that we went to high school with was invited BUT ME.  I cannot believe it was an oversight since the picture was taken from my album.  The reason that Danny and I haven't spoken is because he was best friends with my ex and Brad and I didn't have the best break up.  I understand that no one wanted to maintain contact with me as their allegiance was to Brad.  But Danny and I were good friends for a number of years and his death affected me.  And my feelings are hurt that I wasn't included in a celebration of his life.

I don't feel like writing anymore and sometimes wonder why I even bother.

Rest In Peace Danny.  I'll miss you xoxo

The Motion Room Wants YOU!

Well ME but you get the picture.

It's been a while since I've blogged and it is not for lack of interesting things going on in my life, it is due solely to lack of time.  December is a CA-RAZY month for me being the Events Manager at one of the hottest venues in town and all.  AND running my own balloon decor company.  *phew*

I have also been training SIX days a week at The Motion Room alternating between Personal Co-Training and Re-Energizer Boot Camp.  Yeah, I'm one dedicated mofo.  I recently did my first round of Results-Success Testing and I'm not gonna lie, some tears were shed.  I am way heavier than I thought I was and my body fat percentage is 33%; which according to the computer is OBESE.  WTF?  My cardio is also waaaay weak :(

However, I am HELLA strong!  Like Superwoman strong :D  That was encouraging and the not so great stuff (weight, body fat percentage and cardio) was motivating so I'm looking forward to the next year.

That being said, I have put myself into the proverbial ring and applied to be a Motion Room Ambassador.  You can see all the deets HERE on their Facebook page.  As an ambassador, you are responsible for documenting and communicating your health and fitness journey to the masses through facebook, twitter and your personal blog (which I do anyway) and in return, should you meet the goals set out for you by TMR staff, you will receive SIX MONTHS FREE training!  I'd say that's a win-win situation for shizz.

Hopefully they choose me because I really believe in the program and am super stoked to continue my fitness journey.  If they do pick me, I'll make sure I take lots of pictures including a before - which will be crazy scary bc I ain't no model anymore - but a bit liberating I think...

Stay tuned.  I plan on sharing some good news real soon :)

xo M

Another One Bites the Dust

I am no longer facebook friends with my former best-friend (I guess I can use former now). I discovered this when I tried to tag her in a funny post that only she and I would get.

I have been rather apathetic throughout the past 8 months of not speaking and had convinced myself that I didn't care that we were no longer friends.  The sick feeling in my stomach and lump in my throat betrays my supposed indifference.

Why should something as insignificant as a facebook friendship matter so much?  Perhaps because as long as we were still facebook friends, there was still hope.  I shouldn't be upset.  I wasn't going to reach out to her.  I had done it too many times and felt that for once in our 22 year friendship, she should make the effort to maintain or reignite the friendship.  I guess I just wasn't worth it.